On this date exactly one year ago, Macy Jane was discharged from Lucille Packard Children's Hospital in Palo Alto. After 6 months in the hospital, I was finally able to bring our beautiful daughter HOME! A place/occurance that many long days and nights I thought would not ever happen. I cannot put in to words the feelings that I felt that night as I was finally able to hold my daughter without having someone's permission, change a diaper and actually throw it away right then, and snuggle with her in a real bed. She was finally all mine to take back to the Ronald McDonald House in preparation for our return flight to Memphis!! I openly admit that I was terrified of what to expect and do. At that point, I did not know what Macy Jane liked or what soothed her. She never really had the energy to play before and honestly she never really cried that much in the hospital. Now I was responsible for this little one 24/7. It is amazing to see how much Macy Jane has changed over the past year. Early this morning, I looked back at her past year in pictures and just cried. God has been so good to me and our family and my heart is overjoyed and in awe of all of His blessings. Who am I to deserve such a precious little girl that blesses my heart every day and always brings a smile to my face, even on the worst of days. I am so undeserving of such a beautiful gift, but am so thankful to God that He chose this little girl specifically for me. I could not imagine one single day without her and believe me, that thought crossed my mind daily for a long long time. While I am giving thanks, I might as well mention my awesome extended family! Today, we all went to my cousin's house in Dyersburg to celebrate together. This is the first year that the family has gotten together for Thanksgiving in several years (we always do Christmas), since Grandma Haggard passed. It's so nice to be close to family and be able to always count on excellent food and tons of laughter and conversation. Anyone that knows my fam knows that we are very open and no topic is barred from conversation, whether good or bad ,inappropriate for table talk or not, and that always makes our gatherings quite interesting. Two people that more than deserve mentioning are my parents. I do not think that I have met 2 people that were more made for each other and have such big hearts. They have helped me so much, especially in the last 18 months. There wasn't a day from the time MJ was born until the day we flew home to Memphis from California that one of parents wasn't with me and MJ. When she was at Lebonheur those 3 months, I could count on my dad coming to see us every night when he got off work and on the weekend and he always provided me with dinner unless someone else may have brought something. Mom would stay with me during the day to help pass the time or stay with MJ for a few hours when I needed those rare breaks from the hospital to destress. That very reason is why I am 100% comfortable with leaving Macy Jane with my parents at any time. They know how to care for her and her needs almost if not the same as I do. Mom watches MJ for me while I work and on those days where I need a few hours to myself. Not everyone has the priviledge of having their parents/grandparents to help them out and I'm very thankful that my parents are able to.My sister, Dee, well I don't even know how to describe her and our relationship. We have always been more close than me and my brother, probably because we have more in common. She is one of my best friends and someone that I could call no matter what time it was/is and talk to her about anything and know that she was always going to give me great Christian advice. She immediately flew home to be with me after I had my amniocentesis and was put on bedrest. As soon as the doctor told me something wasn't right, he left the room and gave me and Steve time to process the information. My first reaction was to tell Steve to get my parents on the phone and call my sister and ask her to please come to Memphis. I am typically a strong person, but the news that my child would be gravely ill almost sent me to a breaking point and I knew to get through that, I needed my family around me to help me. And help me they did. Dee took vacation from her job and was on a flight the next am. She continued to come home to be with me at various doctor's appointments, especially our first 4-d ultrasound where they checked MJ for a cleft lip. When MJ was born she was there and returned for weekly visits often. She flew to CA for Mj's first surgery and came back to celebrate Thanksgiving with us in CA. That doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of all that she has done for us, especially over the past year! There isn't a day that goes by that we do not communicate in some form. I am a lucky girl to have a sis that I get along with so well. To say thank you just doesn't quite show my gratitude. There are various other things that I am thankful for as well. Such as, I am an American and with that comes many rights and freedoms that people all over the world envy; I have a great job with decent pay; Steve also has a great job; we don't have to worry about how we are going to pay the bills or put groceries on the table and gas in the car; I have everything that I could possibly need; I have a few pretty awesome friends that I know I could count on no matter the situation; I finally found a great church to attend; and I have a husband and family that care about me. There isn't one thing in this world that I could even think of that I absolutely needed. How many people can say that, even in America? Many times, I take things for granted but I am glad that this day rolls around each year so that my thoughts and actions can be redirected in the right way. So, now that I have explained all of the blessings in my life, I have been thinking about ways that I can give back and perhaps help people that are in true need of it. One of the ways that I know I can help is to contribute to the Ronald McDonald House & Target House in Memphis. I know that when we stayed there in CA, they always needed or welcomed home cooked meals or goodies or just volunteering time. I don't really have lots of free time these days it seems like, but one thing I know that I could do is drop off some treats a few times a month. I am hoping to be able to start doing this sometime after the new year. I just want to give back in some way as my own personal way of saying thank you. So many people out there are in need....it's the least I can do. Well, that about sums it up. I was so happy today as I would think about how we celebrated last Thanksgiving. Steve, my dad, and my siblings flew out to California to join me, mom, and MJ for Thanksgiving. We cooked the meal at the RMH and ate it in Macy Jane's hospital room, with her right there beside us. It broke my heart to send all of them back to Memphis on a flight the next day knowing that we could not join them yet. It was SO worth the wait though. It completely changed who I am and how I think and act and hopefully made me a much less selfish person. Now, I realize all of the wonderful blessings in my life and thank God for every single one of them daily, not just on Thanksgiving. I hope that ya'll had a great Thanksgiving and didn't stuff yourselves til you were sick :) Now....on to Christmas!