Thursday, January 10, 2008
It’s Been a While! Current mood: relaxed
Wow! It HAS been a long time since I blogged! Most nights I sit down at the computer to blog and something else catches my attention and before I realize it, it is way too late and time for bed.
We were able to have a wonderful Christmas for Macy Jane. My parents came over to share in MJs first Christmas fun. She enjoyed pulling the paper off of some of her presents, but by the time we got done, she was bored with that (has the attention span of about 5 seconds it seems!) and tired. I am thankful that we had enough money to buy her a few things. Some of the things that she recieved are things that she will "grow in to" in the next several months, but it was better to buy them now while we could afford it......we have learned that what we have today may not always be there a few months down the road!!!
Steve & I decided that we were not going to give each other presents this year, and we actually stuck to it. (he broke the rules and got me the tennis shoes for my birthday and said that they were from Macy....sweet.) Honestly, I could not think of anything that I needed. Sure, there are lots of wants, but having Macy Jane with us at home was the present that I wanted most of all. Our 2nd wedding anniversary was on Monday. We were supposed to go to Texas de Brazil on Sunday night and let my parents keep MJ til Monday, but my mom has been sick with a nasty cold....so MJ has been banished from being around her!!! We are going to hopefully be able to go in the next couple of weeks. Just an FYI, that place is expensive, like over $100 for 2 people (but SO worth it). If you sign-up on their website, you will frequently receive coupons for buy one meal get the 2nd free!!! Just a money saving tip for all of you bargain hunters that read this.
It doesn't seem like it has been two years that me and Steve have been married! We have been able to create a lot of memories in that time and were able to travel to some places that some may not ever be able to go to in their lives, and for that we are thankful. We are pretty much homebound for now, but I am so very thankful that we were able to travel and do whatever we wanted pre-Macy Jane! I am not saying we will never be able to do those things again, we will.....just not any time soon We will still take trips to see my sister in Florida and my brother in Missouri--those are pretty low cost. There are some friends that I would love to visit also, but right now us traveling anywhere isn't an option that I am exploring for a while.
Sunday, I was able to get away and go to lunch with my friend Micah. It was so nice to be able to go to lunch (mexican? you guessed it!) and relax a bit. After that, we headed up to work. Micah had to pick up some stuff and I went a long just to see some friends. I really don't need to go up there anymore because every time that I do, it makes me miss my job even more. One thing that sucks about Baptist is that they don't have a part time position. I would really like to be able to go back and be part time, like work 2 days a week. My paycheck is bank money, so cutting back is "doable", but I can't! I don't really want to go and work at another hospital......I really love my job and am comfortable where I am. I really think that me getting out of the house a couple of days a week will help me out a lot. I know that there are some that would love to be a full time stay at home mommy and do anything to be that. It's a little different in my situation though....I literally am a stay at home mom. I do not take Macy Jane places except for the doctor's office and maybe to eat after that. So I am pretty much at home 24/7. After a while, the walls start to close in. It would be different if I could hop in the car and go to Target or my parents house, or even to friends houses, but with MJ throwing up at unpredictable times I cannot take her anywhere by myself yet. However, that is a sacrifice that I am willing to make until we feel that it is time for me to return to work. Anyways, it was nice to see my friends again!
About Miss Macy Jane she is my little devil. We are starting to go through separation anxiety I think. I forget what age they normally do this, but she is SO there. I leave the room for 2 seconds and she starts crying. As soon as I re-enter BAM! she stops, smiles, laughs, and continues to play with toys. I finally gave up. With the exception of me going to the bathroom, Macy Jane is in every room that I am. She really likes her swing now and doesn't puke from the swaying motion, so I can put her in that for a few hours at a time. Yes, I know that I am "spoiling" her and that could cause problems down the road, but right now, if she cries or gets upset for a long time, she ends up throwing up. I would rather have a spoiled child than a child that is malnourished Speaking of.....she is up to 14 pounds 11 ounces now! She does back to the pediatrician on Friday for a weight check and a general check up. I think that by the time she is 9 months old, she will be caught up to the minimum that she should be for her age. That is wonderful considering a month ago she was not even 12 pounds and below the 5th percentile...in everything! Completely thanking God for everything, especially the weight gain. If she wasn't gaining weight, she was going to have to have her stomach surgery re-done........whew! Thank goodness we are so far avoiding that. If you haven't already noticed, I posted some new pictures of MJ. She keeps me busy, that's for sure, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I made a New Year's resolution for the first time in a long time. It was something that I had to do not only for me, but for Steve and for MJ. Over the past 6 months I have gained A LOT of weight. Sitting in a hospital pretty much 24/7, only able to eat fast food type meals for 6 months will do that to you. I am not blaming the situation for the weight gain, I chose to eat what I ate, but it made it difficult. Before I became pregnant I was trying to lose weight and so obviously I have been overweight for a while.....since my senior year in college. During college, I lost almost 50 pounds doing the Atkins diet, but I gained it all back and much much more. I have been kind of down about it since we got home and I couldn't fit in to pretty much any of my clothes, not even my "fat" clothes. It's pretty bad when you can't even fit in those! However, that is the wake up call that I needed. I have realized that Macy Jane is watching my every move and I wouldn't want her to develop the unhealthy lifestyle that has been mine for so long. Also, I want to live to be an old woman and at the rate I am going, that isn't going to happen! So........
After thinking long and hard (all of December), I decided that I was going to join Weight Watchers. That was a pretty big step for me because that was admitting that I was severely overweight.....fat....whatever and not only that, I had to go and admit that and disclose my weight to other people! I wasn't sure how I was going to afford it with me not working, but something amazing happened. The night before I was supposed to go, I had decided not to join for financial reasons. That was on Friday. Saturday afternoon I was cleaning the office and found my birthday card from my parents. Inside of the card was a 100 dollar bill that I had forgotten about!!! That was enough money for 3 months worth of a membership. So I found a meeting in Memphis on Monday and went to it while Steve watched MJ for me. When I stepped on the scales my heart sank because I have NEVER in my life weighed this much, but when I sat down and watched people come in the door, I realized that I am not alone. I have not been at my "goal" weight probably since junior high or high school, as I was always the chubby one. I am no longer ashamed to admit that I want to lose 133.6 pounds. LOL most of you probably wouldn't exist if you lost that much weight, but like I said....I'm no lightweight right now. That is a lot of weight to lose, but I know and am determined that I can do it. Obviously, it took me a long time to put this weight on and by golly it is going to take twice as long to get if off....and stay off. Instead of looking at the big number, WW has set a goal for me to lose, close to thirty pounds. I will keep setting small goals like that and before you know it, I will have reached my goal. I would like to lose 80 pounds by Christmas '08. I think that that is totally doable if I stick to the plan. If I fall short of that goal even if I have not fallen off of the wagon, then that is okay, I will keep trying.
One thing that I have realized is that I have to just simply change the amounts that I eat and get rid of some things from my diet. With weight watchers you are allowed to eat whatever you want as long as you don't go over your daily points. So far, I have been very satisfied with what I am eating. Everything is healthy stuff and what "snacks" I do eat are considered low fat. However, if I want dessert one night or whatever, I can have it as long as I plan for it. It took me a lot longer in the grocery store because I was figuring up the points each thing had in it. It also takes me a while to fix dinner, but I know that in the end it is going to be SO worth it. I am going to take pictures of myself now and every month from now. When I have lost half of my goal weight loss I will probably post some pictures on here. It will be interesting and nice to see the change in myself. Looking in the mirror every day, I am not going to notice that much of a change visually (I will with my clothes though, YAY!) but having pictures to look back at I will. Anyways, I also started working out. In Sept 06 a gym opened up by our house and they were offering a great package for 3 year membership so Steve and I joined up (before we found out I was preggo). Thankfully we still have 2 years of that membership left! I am starting off walking 2 miles a day for 5-6 days per week. There is a total body workout machine that I used tonight and it kicked my butt, so I will start doing that along with walking. I also ride the good ole stationary bike for a mile as well. I never realized how out of shape I trully am! I am excited to start seeing results though and can't wait to fit back in to the closet full of really cute clothes that I already have. Once I am out of the "fat" clothes, I am throwing them away with the exception of one pair of pants. Each size that I go down is going in the goodwill bag. Hopefully by doing that, it will motivate me not ever gain the weight back because I will just have to be naked I have posted a ticker on my page and it will be updated every Monday night if you are interested.
Well, it is 2am and once again I am up way later than I wanted to be. My mom is coming over tomorrow for the first time in almost 2 weeks, so I need to get some zzzzz's so I won't be crabby I hope everyone is doing well!
Much love,
Bethany