Sadness

I got a call from my mom while on my way to work this am and she told me that my Granny had passed away in her sleep.  My Granny Sadler was the grandparent that I was closest to and she will be greatly missed!  She was an excellent cook and I will never forget that she couldn't bake biscuits without burning at least one batch.  : )  Funny the things I have remembered throughout the day today when I have thought about her!  Macy Jane was her pride and joy and not a day went by that she didn't ask about "the baby".  So many fond memories and I can only think of one instance where I got upset with her.....when I was a young kid me and my cousin Sara decided to play with Pop's shaving cream.  Well, Sara got carried away and made a huge mess, lied about it to Granny and I got the spanking.  Ugh!  I probably deserved the spanking for something else that I didn't get caught for, lol.  I went ahead and went to work today anyways because sitting at home wouldn't have done any good and it was an overtime shift for me which is kind of important right now.  Gosh I will miss her but I am so thankful that she is in heaven smiling down on us.  She is pain free and living the heavenly life now!  My dad seems to be holding up pretty good but it's hard to tell with men and their "machoness". 

Tonight I did something I haven't done in probably 8 months or more....took a long bath with the jets on full blast and lit some candles.  I needed to relax and that was the perfect answer!  I met my Mom and Macy Jane at IHOP after work since I was craving an omelette and although the omelette sucked, the company was awesome.  It took maybe 5 minutes to rock MJ tonight, she was worn out.  Moe is out with my cousin and some friends in Memphis so the house is all mine.  So quiet!  I wish I could sleep but my brain isn't ready for that.  My dog is curled up in my bed and might I add that he is curled up on my feet.  Ugh!  I am the type of person that has to sleep with at least one foot/leg outside of the covers so my feet are smothering with him on top of them.  He's sleeping so good so I won't disturb him.....yet. 

Macy Jane had a good day today.  She is starting to learn that when I say "stop whining" she knows what I am talking about and instead of whining, she pouts.  It is the cutest thing ever and I can't help but hide my face in a pillow and laugh when she does it.  I am developing my own little plan or schedule for our days together when I am not working.  The key to her eating orally is me getting her on a schedule where she has the chance to eat finger foods at least 3 times a day and feeding her via G-tube after she has eaten orally.  I don't feel comfortable yet with cutting back on her tube feedings and letting her get really hungry.  She is still underweight for her age etc. and is slightly smaller than she was a few weeks ago...this last round of CVS took its toll on her.  However, I'm going to do what I should have been doing a long time ago and see how far we get! 

I should probably end this and get in the bed.  My sister and brother-in-law are driving in to town tomorrow and staying til Monday or Tuesday for the funeral.  It will be soooo good to see them!  Dee was coming in to town next Friday for Thanksgiving break anyways but now I can see her a few days extra.  Yay!  My siblings mean the world to me and have been there so much for me lately.   Can't wait until we are all together : )  Tomorrow will be busy with me cleaning and getting the house ready for my company....I've gotta balance that with taking MJ outside and playing with her in between.  It can be done.  It will be done!  Goodnight!!!