Saturday, June 30, 2007
Saturday Current mood: excited
I must say that it is nice to have Steve here with me finally. He is only gone for 2 days at a time, but that seems like an eternity. :o)
This update will be quick as I need to get back upstairs and hold MJ. We talked with Dr. Cabrera this morning and he was very optimistic again. He told us that MJ likes to be held and that she does better when she is held and that it is very helpful to them that she is calm when they wean down her sedation medicine and can turn down the ventilator support. SO! Needless to say, she is going to be held all of the time now
She is doing really good and she looks great. Her coloring is nice and pink and her oxygen levels are fantastic. I can't wait to get back upstairs and hold my sweet "sugar bear". That is what I call her when I see her or "sug" (sounds like shoog).
The parent resource center (where I go to use the computer) has weird hours on the weekend so this is the last time I can check this or email for today. Tomorrow it is open from 1-5 so my update will be a little later.
Oh yeah--Dr. Cabrera said that she should come off the vent in the next day or so. YAY I can hear her grunt, cough, cry etc. I have never wanted to hear her cry so much!!
Hope everyone is doing well. Continue to pray for these specific things:
Collateral arteries to grow bigger, Dr. Hanley to make the right decision, MJ to continue to gain weight (she weighs over 7pounds 11 ounces), MJs immune system (they sent blood off yesterday to evaluate it, we will know more in a few days) and just everything in general.
Once again, thanks so much for the prayers. It is awesome to see God working even in the tiniest ways.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
Friday Current mood: annoyed
You know what is sad? The fact that I have to move the mouse to where the time shows on the computer to find out what day of the week that it is.
I do not have alot of new information as of yet. I cannot wait for 7pm to get here though because MJs nurse today has been really rude and hostile to me and my mom today. I do not understand it and am not going to say anything about the things he has said/done because it just upsets me. I will say that he does not have a caring spirit about him (perhaps because he is a male nurse taking care of a baby?) and me or mom will be sitting back there with MJ all day because she isn't getting any TLC from this guy. She is 5 weeks old and she is waking up more and more today and she needs to have some human interaction from people she knows and loves her. Don't ever tell me not to stimulate my child, especially when I can see that she is crying (eventhough you can't hear it). If I see that she is upset then by golly I am going to hold her hand. If that is overstimulation in your opinion then GET OVER IT because she needs to know that her mom and nana are there for her. Just pray that the hours pass by!
It is amazing how I can see Satan sending stuff our way trying to discourage us, today I guess it is the nurse. I am not going to let it get me down, I will continue doing what I have done since Tuesday and we continue to have problems I will talk with the nurse in charge.
Now, how is MJ today? According to Dr. Cabrera-they are changing some ventilator settings to one that allows MJ to initiate the breath--then the vent will give her support. When she has been waking up she has been so agitated and working against the ventilator that it is doing more harm than good. Sor far she is doing well with the new settings and they are slowly going back down on her sedation. Also, I asked Dr. Cabrera when we were going to test her immune system and see how much of one she has and he said that they would draw blood today to evaluate that and that it could have already been done! This will give us some clue as to how well she can fight infection and exactly what she will need when she does get an infection. So, not a bad update today.
There is a nurse here that I guess worked with Dr. Hanley (California doc) or worked where he works or something and she was going to talk to me to let me know what it was like out there. Mom is back with MJ so that I could pump and check email and she was trying to text me about it but I didn't understand completely what she was saying. That would be awesome to know what its like and what kind of accomodations that they have for parents/grandparents etc.
People have been asking how they can help Steve and I and we have been thinking and praying about it. We have come up with some ideas and I will blog about that in a separate blog once I know more. I will say that while we are in Memphis, just a visit would be nice. My parents are here and help provide meals and snacks so we are covered there. It really is nice to have visitors come and see us because it helps to take our minds off of everything and as an added bonus, you can go back to see MJ for a few minutes if you come We will really need help and support when we go to California, but like I said we are still talking about that and I will let you know more later.
Well, I need to go take my milk to MJs nurse and see her and get some lunch. I am absolutely starving! Hope everyone is doing well.
P.S. please remember to keep my friend Micah in your prayers too-she is going through a hard time right now and could use your prayers, also her nephew is really sick right now (only a couple of months old) with an ear infection and UTI. Thanks
Friday Current mood: annoyed
You know what is sad? The fact that I have to move the mouse to where the time shows on the computer to find out what day of the week that it is.
I do not have alot of new information as of yet. I cannot wait for 7pm to get here though because MJs nurse today has been really rude and hostile to me and my mom today. I do not understand it and am not going to say anything about the things he has said/done because it just upsets me. I will say that he does not have a caring spirit about him (perhaps because he is a male nurse taking care of a baby?) and me or mom will be sitting back there with MJ all day because she isn't getting any TLC from this guy. She is 5 weeks old and she is waking up more and more today and she needs to have some human interaction from people she knows and loves her. Don't ever tell me not to stimulate my child, especially when I can see that she is crying (eventhough you can't hear it). If I see that she is upset then by golly I am going to hold her hand. If that is overstimulation in your opinion then GET OVER IT because she needs to know that her mom and nana are there for her. Just pray that the hours pass by!
It is amazing how I can see Satan sending stuff our way trying to discourage us, today I guess it is the nurse. I am not going to let it get me down, I will continue doing what I have done since Tuesday and we continue to have problems I will talk with the nurse in charge.
Now, how is MJ today? According to Dr. Cabrera-they are changing some ventilator settings to one that allows MJ to initiate the breath--then the vent will give her support. When she has been waking up she has been so agitated and working against the ventilator that it is doing more harm than good. Sor far she is doing well with the new settings and they are slowly going back down on her sedation. Also, I asked Dr. Cabrera when we were going to test her immune system and see how much of one she has and he said that they would draw blood today to evaluate that and that it could have already been done! This will give us some clue as to how well she can fight infection and exactly what she will need when she does get an infection. So, not a bad update today.
There is a nurse here that I guess worked with Dr. Hanley (California doc) or worked where he works or something and she was going to talk to me to let me know what it was like out there. Mom is back with MJ so that I could pump and check email and she was trying to text me about it but I didn't understand completely what she was saying. That would be awesome to know what its like and what kind of accomodations that they have for parents/grandparents etc.
People have been asking how they can help Steve and I and we have been thinking and praying about it. We have come up with some ideas and I will blog about that in a separate blog once I know more. I will say that while we are in Memphis, just a visit would be nice. My parents are here and help provide meals and snacks so we are covered there. It really is nice to have visitors come and see us because it helps to take our minds off of everything and as an added bonus, you can go back to see MJ for a few minutes if you come We will really need help and support when we go to California, but like I said we are still talking about that and I will let you know more later.
Well, I need to go take my milk to MJs nurse and see her and get some lunch. I am absolutely starving! Hope everyone is doing well.
P.S. please remember to keep my friend Micah in your prayers too-she is going through a hard time right now and could use your prayers, also her nephew is really sick right now (only a couple of months old) with an ear infection and UTI. Thanks
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Clarification Current mood: confused
This is just a clarification of the information that is circulating where I work I hope that I have not given the impression that nothing can be done for Macy Jane now. If I have, I am sorry. I have so many things on my mind that I may have painted that picture without even realizing it. I will try to paint a different picture now.
At this point, after my conversation with Dr. Cabrera this is the latest. According to Dr. Cabrera, Macy Jane should recover from this bump in the road. He thinks that aspiration is the cause of this episode, even though she does not show any signs of it besides her sats dropping. That is a good thing thing however because she does not have a fever etc that goes along with pneumonia.
Regarding her surgery. The information was sent Tuesday morning via FedEx to Dr. Frank Hanley at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California. Dr. Hanley has weekly conferences with staff to review the cases that are sent to him. He will decide what he can do and when he wants to do it, IF he can do anything. Dr. Cabrera thinks that Dr. Hanley will be able to do something, but she needs to be older and bigger. As in 4-6 months and she needs to weigh at least 11 pounds. A few days ago, it was a possibility that her heart was getting worse and that she may need surgery sooner than later, but as of right now Dr. Cabrera thinks that this is not heart related.
We have not given up hope for Macy Jane. At this point, surgery IS STILL AN OPTION. If Dr. Hanley says he can't do it then our options are only attempting to find a surgeon that can or will if we even decide to do that. We trust Dr. Hanley though because of his reputation and the fact that he is the inventor and expert in this surgery and if he thinks nothing can be done then odds are nothing can be done.
Once again, I didn't mean to freak anyone out or paint the wrong picture. Our options are few, but we still have them. I appreciate the prayers, continue to pray!!!
Clarification Current mood: confused
This is just a clarification of the information that is circulating where I work I hope that I have not given the impression that nothing can be done for Macy Jane now. If I have, I am sorry. I have so many things on my mind that I may have painted that picture without even realizing it. I will try to paint a different picture now.
At this point, after my conversation with Dr. Cabrera this is the latest. According to Dr. Cabrera, Macy Jane should recover from this bump in the road. He thinks that aspiration is the cause of this episode, even though she does not show any signs of it besides her sats dropping. That is a good thing thing however because she does not have a fever etc that goes along with pneumonia.
Regarding her surgery. The information was sent Tuesday morning via FedEx to Dr. Frank Hanley at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California. Dr. Hanley has weekly conferences with staff to review the cases that are sent to him. He will decide what he can do and when he wants to do it, IF he can do anything. Dr. Cabrera thinks that Dr. Hanley will be able to do something, but she needs to be older and bigger. As in 4-6 months and she needs to weigh at least 11 pounds. A few days ago, it was a possibility that her heart was getting worse and that she may need surgery sooner than later, but as of right now Dr. Cabrera thinks that this is not heart related.
We have not given up hope for Macy Jane. At this point, surgery IS STILL AN OPTION. If Dr. Hanley says he can't do it then our options are only attempting to find a surgeon that can or will if we even decide to do that. We trust Dr. Hanley though because of his reputation and the fact that he is the inventor and expert in this surgery and if he thinks nothing can be done then odds are nothing can be done.
Once again, I didn't mean to freak anyone out or paint the wrong picture. Our options are few, but we still have them. I appreciate the prayers, continue to pray!!!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday Current mood: grateful
I got to see my sweet baby's eyes open! She has been paralyzed and heavily sedated since she has been in the PICU and today they turned off the paralyzing drug and turned down her sedation. I just happened to walk back there to give them my freshly pumped milk (which by the way, the supply is back up after a day of pumping every 2-3 hours--the supply/demand thing really is true) and her nurse had just started to turn everything off.
However, her eyes being open was short lived. She started to get agitated and fussy and that was causing her oxygen saturation to drop into the 60s so they inceased her sedation meds and started her on some pain medicine. Lauren, her nurse, is such a sweet girl. In a little bit she is going to let me hold Macy Jane! I am so excited. I have been sitting at her bedside in a rocking chair holding her hand and reading a book the past 2 days. I do not know what she can hear or sense but I try to talk to her and touch her so that she will know I am there if she can hear or sense it. It's amazing that when we are in there her oxygen levels go up. They are weaning her ventilator down, which is a good sign.
In other news, this morning I overslept--big time. I went to bed at 1:30am and set the alarm for 6:15 so that I could get up, shower, and then pump and get breakfast before I could go in to see MJ (visitation is closed from 0630-0730 and 1830-1930). Well, I woke up at 9am to the sound of mom looking for something in a bag. I couldn't believe it......doctors rounds start at 9 so I had mom (who was up and dressed, but wanted me to sleep so she didn't wake me) go in MJs room so that if they came by she could hear what they said etc.
I was about to get in the shower when she text me that Dr. Joshi (MJs cardiologist) was in the PICU. He did not come and see MJ yesterday so I was eager to talk with him. Needless to say I ran back there in my pj pants and he didn't even come to see Macy or talk to us! Instead, the cardiac intensivist, Dr. Cabrera, came in to talk with us. He was such a blessing from God. He explained many things to me and mom and discussed MJ's surgery. He was very optimistic that Dr. Hanley would agree to do MJ's surgery and that she could survive it etc. He does think that all of this was caused by MJ aspirating on her feeds eventhough her lungs do not show it. He said that the day she was admitted to the PICU he expected her lungs to look horrible and sound horrible--just based off of the vent settings that she was requiring, but that he was very shocked because the two do not match up. He explained that if it were her heart it wouldn't have caused this, this fast. Stenosis happens gradually over time and you gradually see things go wrong, not all in one day. I still am not 100% believing that she aspirated, but they are the doctor's who deal with heart babies all of the time and they know way more than I do or ever will know and I trust them.
So, not awesome news but it isn't all bad news either, thank the Lord. I can't wait to hold her, that in its self will mean so much. Steve had to work today and tomorrow so he can't be up here. I do not know what I will do when I have to go back to work. I really do not want to go, but I have no choice. I need to start back in the middle of July so that we can hopefully save some money to cover the basic bills while we are in California, but MJ is going to be in the hospital here for a long time. My mom is going to help out and stay with her while we are at work, but I will come up to the hospital when I get off and spend the nights I think. Maybe I can only work 2 days a week instead of 3. Who knows. I am taking it one day at a time. We do not have any credit card debt so if we have to put our house note and bills on one until things settle down and it is the right time for me to return to work then so be it. We originally planned to let me be off of work until September, but with surgery possible being in October I need to save some time off so that I do not have to take a personal leave and risk losing my position.
Anyways, lots of things to think about and pray about. I feel much better after getting some sleep last night. My outlook is a little better on the whole situation. Thank God for Dr. Cabrera because I was really starting to become discouraged and fretful. God sent him to us exactly when I needed to hear something positive.
Thanks for the prayers, keep them coming!!
Thursday Current mood: grateful
I got to see my sweet baby's eyes open! She has been paralyzed and heavily sedated since she has been in the PICU and today they turned off the paralyzing drug and turned down her sedation. I just happened to walk back there to give them my freshly pumped milk (which by the way, the supply is back up after a day of pumping every 2-3 hours--the supply/demand thing really is true) and her nurse had just started to turn everything off.
However, her eyes being open was short lived. She started to get agitated and fussy and that was causing her oxygen saturation to drop into the 60s so they inceased her sedation meds and started her on some pain medicine. Lauren, her nurse, is such a sweet girl. In a little bit she is going to let me hold Macy Jane! I am so excited. I have been sitting at her bedside in a rocking chair holding her hand and reading a book the past 2 days. I do not know what she can hear or sense but I try to talk to her and touch her so that she will know I am there if she can hear or sense it. It's amazing that when we are in there her oxygen levels go up. They are weaning her ventilator down, which is a good sign.
In other news, this morning I overslept--big time. I went to bed at 1:30am and set the alarm for 6:15 so that I could get up, shower, and then pump and get breakfast before I could go in to see MJ (visitation is closed from 0630-0730 and 1830-1930). Well, I woke up at 9am to the sound of mom looking for something in a bag. I couldn't believe it......doctors rounds start at 9 so I had mom (who was up and dressed, but wanted me to sleep so she didn't wake me) go in MJs room so that if they came by she could hear what they said etc.
I was about to get in the shower when she text me that Dr. Joshi (MJs cardiologist) was in the PICU. He did not come and see MJ yesterday so I was eager to talk with him. Needless to say I ran back there in my pj pants and he didn't even come to see Macy or talk to us! Instead, the cardiac intensivist, Dr. Cabrera, came in to talk with us. He was such a blessing from God. He explained many things to me and mom and discussed MJ's surgery. He was very optimistic that Dr. Hanley would agree to do MJ's surgery and that she could survive it etc. He does think that all of this was caused by MJ aspirating on her feeds eventhough her lungs do not show it. He said that the day she was admitted to the PICU he expected her lungs to look horrible and sound horrible--just based off of the vent settings that she was requiring, but that he was very shocked because the two do not match up. He explained that if it were her heart it wouldn't have caused this, this fast. Stenosis happens gradually over time and you gradually see things go wrong, not all in one day. I still am not 100% believing that she aspirated, but they are the doctor's who deal with heart babies all of the time and they know way more than I do or ever will know and I trust them.
So, not awesome news but it isn't all bad news either, thank the Lord. I can't wait to hold her, that in its self will mean so much. Steve had to work today and tomorrow so he can't be up here. I do not know what I will do when I have to go back to work. I really do not want to go, but I have no choice. I need to start back in the middle of July so that we can hopefully save some money to cover the basic bills while we are in California, but MJ is going to be in the hospital here for a long time. My mom is going to help out and stay with her while we are at work, but I will come up to the hospital when I get off and spend the nights I think. Maybe I can only work 2 days a week instead of 3. Who knows. I am taking it one day at a time. We do not have any credit card debt so if we have to put our house note and bills on one until things settle down and it is the right time for me to return to work then so be it. We originally planned to let me be off of work until September, but with surgery possible being in October I need to save some time off so that I do not have to take a personal leave and risk losing my position.
Anyways, lots of things to think about and pray about. I feel much better after getting some sleep last night. My outlook is a little better on the whole situation. Thank God for Dr. Cabrera because I was really starting to become discouraged and fretful. God sent him to us exactly when I needed to hear something positive.
Thanks for the prayers, keep them coming!!
Monday, June 25, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Mixed Feelings
I was finally able to leave the hospital a little after 2pm. Now that I am at home, I am missing my MJ and cannot wait to get back to the hospital. It is funny how that when I am there and need a break I can't wait to leave, but after an hour or so I want to go back. Normal, I know. I had to get away and I am forcing myself to stay away for a little bit longer........but it's hard. I called Steve and heard her fussing in the background and I just wanted to reach through the phone and pick her up and hold her and give her an eskimo kiss to let her know everything is okay. It must be done though since I have only left the hospital 2 times in the past week and that was to grab dinner for an hour.
I am starting to think that MJ is going to be coming home on oxygen. Most babies with her heart defect are on oxygen supposedly, so I guess it was just a matter of time before she had to have it too. It is kind of a bummer, but God knows why.
I am so tired and would love to nap in my own bed but I am afraid that if I do that I will not wake up for hours and hours. Steve is at the hospital today watching MJ. He had to work the weekend so he took over today, which is why I am able to get away for a bit.
I went to the DHS office. I hate going places like that. I do not know why. I have hated it since I went with one of my friends years ago. I just feel dirty when I walk in the door. It didn't help that this office was in an old run down smelly building. I found out......................a whole bunch of nothing. I have an appointment on Wednesday morning that I am going to have to cancel. There is a ton of papers that I have to have for them such as 8 weeks of pay stubs, utility bills, bank statements, birth certificates etc. I feel like I am buying the house all over again. Needless to say I do not have time to find all of that. She doesn't need the Tenncare right away so we are going to wait until thinks settle down a bit first.
Well, it's after 6 so the rush hour traffic should be about over. I guess I am going to head back after I stop and eat some Mexican food with mom and grab Steve some Arby's. That's one thing that stinks. Since we live so far away, we can't cook a meal and bring it to the hospital each day so we have to eat out a lot. Thankfully, Steve's coworkers have him a card with some money in it and we have been able to eat off of that which helps out greatly with the finances. By the way--this is an informal thank you to those people that work with Steve that gave money..........it was greatly appreciated. I will post more later if anything new comes up. Bye Bye Now
Mixed Feelings
I was finally able to leave the hospital a little after 2pm. Now that I am at home, I am missing my MJ and cannot wait to get back to the hospital. It is funny how that when I am there and need a break I can't wait to leave, but after an hour or so I want to go back. Normal, I know. I had to get away and I am forcing myself to stay away for a little bit longer........but it's hard. I called Steve and heard her fussing in the background and I just wanted to reach through the phone and pick her up and hold her and give her an eskimo kiss to let her know everything is okay. It must be done though since I have only left the hospital 2 times in the past week and that was to grab dinner for an hour.
I am starting to think that MJ is going to be coming home on oxygen. Most babies with her heart defect are on oxygen supposedly, so I guess it was just a matter of time before she had to have it too. It is kind of a bummer, but God knows why.
I am so tired and would love to nap in my own bed but I am afraid that if I do that I will not wake up for hours and hours. Steve is at the hospital today watching MJ. He had to work the weekend so he took over today, which is why I am able to get away for a bit.
I went to the DHS office. I hate going places like that. I do not know why. I have hated it since I went with one of my friends years ago. I just feel dirty when I walk in the door. It didn't help that this office was in an old run down smelly building. I found out......................a whole bunch of nothing. I have an appointment on Wednesday morning that I am going to have to cancel. There is a ton of papers that I have to have for them such as 8 weeks of pay stubs, utility bills, bank statements, birth certificates etc. I feel like I am buying the house all over again. Needless to say I do not have time to find all of that. She doesn't need the Tenncare right away so we are going to wait until thinks settle down a bit first.
Well, it's after 6 so the rush hour traffic should be about over. I guess I am going to head back after I stop and eat some Mexican food with mom and grab Steve some Arby's. That's one thing that stinks. Since we live so far away, we can't cook a meal and bring it to the hospital each day so we have to eat out a lot. Thankfully, Steve's coworkers have him a card with some money in it and we have been able to eat off of that which helps out greatly with the finances. By the way--this is an informal thank you to those people that work with Steve that gave money..........it was greatly appreciated. I will post more later if anything new comes up. Bye Bye Now
Monday, June 25, 2007
People Current mood: drained
I have one question. Why do grown-ups act like little children and if they get their feelings hurt about something they revert to the "I'm not your friend anymore" or the "I am going to exclude you from this or that" mentality. Sometimes I feel like I am in elementary again.....or even preschool. Some of my friends that are grownups need to GROW UP and get a life because I do not have time in my life for stupid childish behavior and if you want to act like that then do me a favor and take me off of your friends list, do not read my blogs, and lose my phone number. I have more important things to deal with than who and who isn't my friend.
I realized last night that I have been calculating MJs weight wrong this week. They come in every night to weigh her around 8 pm and they weigh in kilograms. Somehow I screwed up my conversion to pounds and so we thought she wasn't gaining weight. HOWEVER...........Macy Jane has gained 8 whole ounces since she came in to the hospital. PRAISE THE LORD! And that is with her throwing up too. I was so happy when we realized our mistake. She is gaining more than what she needs to be actually, but that is okay. They want her gaining an ounce a day or there about, since that is what most other babies do.
Well, I need to run. Today I am driving to Covington to our county DHS office to see about getting MJ on Tenncare for her secondary insurance since her primary insurance isn't going to pay for certain things. Did I mention that we got a bill in the mail from LeBonheur for almost $67,000???!!! I laughed and laughed at that. Can honestly say I've never seen a bill that much. However, that is before they filed it with insurance......so we'll see
Hope everyone is doing well. I can't wait to leave this hospital today for a break outside of these 4 walls. I will miss my little MJ, but I need to maintain my sanity for her sake as well. Keep praying!!
People Current mood: drained
I have one question. Why do grown-ups act like little children and if they get their feelings hurt about something they revert to the "I'm not your friend anymore" or the "I am going to exclude you from this or that" mentality. Sometimes I feel like I am in elementary again.....or even preschool. Some of my friends that are grownups need to GROW UP and get a life because I do not have time in my life for stupid childish behavior and if you want to act like that then do me a favor and take me off of your friends list, do not read my blogs, and lose my phone number. I have more important things to deal with than who and who isn't my friend.
I realized last night that I have been calculating MJs weight wrong this week. They come in every night to weigh her around 8 pm and they weigh in kilograms. Somehow I screwed up my conversion to pounds and so we thought she wasn't gaining weight. HOWEVER...........Macy Jane has gained 8 whole ounces since she came in to the hospital. PRAISE THE LORD! And that is with her throwing up too. I was so happy when we realized our mistake. She is gaining more than what she needs to be actually, but that is okay. They want her gaining an ounce a day or there about, since that is what most other babies do.
Well, I need to run. Today I am driving to Covington to our county DHS office to see about getting MJ on Tenncare for her secondary insurance since her primary insurance isn't going to pay for certain things. Did I mention that we got a bill in the mail from LeBonheur for almost $67,000???!!! I laughed and laughed at that. Can honestly say I've never seen a bill that much. However, that is before they filed it with insurance......so we'll see
Hope everyone is doing well. I can't wait to leave this hospital today for a break outside of these 4 walls. I will miss my little MJ, but I need to maintain my sanity for her sake as well. Keep praying!!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Sunday Current mood: annoyed
All I ask is that people keep praying. Each day we are here things seems to be getting a little bit worse. Today is a whole new day with new issues.
She is continuing to throw up more frequently. Thank the Lord it isn't every feeding, but still......it's too often for comfort. Last night she threw up 40cc of nothing but straight milk. It looked like I had poured the milk from a jug when it came out. Thankfully she didn't throw up the full 80cc. I am starting to put a cup beside me at all times so that I can catch what she throws up so I can count how much it is. Sounds crazy I know, but when you have 5 different residents and 2 doctors asking you "how much" all of the time and you say Oh i don't know....probably 15cc or 20cc, it gets old. Now, I will give them exact answers.
The other issue is that MJ is now on oxygen. This morning since about 6am she has been extremely fussy, clammy, sweaty, coughing and her oxygen sats have been dipping down in to the 50-60s. I finally had my feel and called the nurse and asked her to please get in touch with someone (eventhough she had already called them and gotten the runaround) and that I wanted to see a doctor. They did blood cultures, lab work, a chest x-ray, & urine culture to see if maybe she is getting an infection somewhere or in congestive heart failure. So far, everything is negative--but we still have a baby that isn't resting good and she just isn't herself. SOMETHING is wrong. Maybe this is maternal instincts kicking in, but she does not look right to me. She is doing better on the oxygen and we are going to try to feed her in a little bit. I am a little worried that it is related to her heart defect and those tiny arteries and that they would want to do a heart cath. We'll see.
I have come so close to going off on a certain doctor that is just an absolute idiot. I know it isn't nice to talk about people, but he is a complete waste of time and should be working with rats and mice, not humans. Keep in mind that this is the doctor that is on call for our cardiologist and the one that wanted to send us home last admission with her losing weight and throwing up EVERYTHING. Well, yesterday he came in and said everything looks good and that he thought she could go home and asked me how I felt about that. Sorry he asked because I told him exactly how I felt about that. Needless to say, we are still at LeBoneheur and not home. Anyways, he started asking me questions like what the plan is for Macy and what has Dr. Joshi been telling us etc. Well, I mentioned that we are trying to get her to gain weight for her heart surgery and we need her collateral arteries to grow. He proceded to tell me that WE ( Steve and I) DID NOT WANT TO PROCEED WITH SURGERY and that was what the people in his group thought because they have a meeting once a week to discuss each patient. I was speechless. From February 3rd, 2007 to now we have always said do whatever you can do regardless of money or long distance travel. We trust Dr. Joshi and what he thinks. If we didn't want surgery why would they be sending her info to Dr. Hanley---the SURGEON---TOMORROW?????? Then he proceeded to tell me about how that her surgery might not benefit her and that she could go for years and years without having the surgery. Basically, he made me and my mom feel like the doctors had not been up front with us and that we were being led on and that there was nothing we could do. He continued to insult my thinking by saying that us sending her to California isn't necessarily going to fix her and that it isn't just a one time surgery and she's perfect. DUH. Don't you think I know that? I know that she is facing multiple open heart surgeries and heart caths all of her life. He also brought up her having DiGeorge Syndrome and all of the life-long complications from that. It was almost like he was saying inadvertently (I am sure I spelled that wrong) your baby is going to be sick her whole life, why are you even proceeding. Both me and my mom got that impression so it isn't just me misinterpreting things. One thing he doesn't know or may not understand is that I serve a powerful God that knows exactly what He is doing and He can perform miracles. God gave me and my family Macy Jane for a reason. I do not know how long she will be on this earth, but each day is a gift from God and I have faith that His will is going to be done. I am not a stupid and naive person. I know that the outlook for MJ is a slippery slope and it is a very real possibility that she will not make it through all of this. Am I heartbroken, yes. Is it easy to sit here and say this stuff no. I am a mom with a heart and emotions but I am a reality person and I have to face the facts.
I don't know how many days MJ has on this earth, but the Lord does. He will get me and my family through each day that passes, even when I think that the light at the end of the tunnel must be broken and I cannot take anymore. I have to keep believing that there is a greater purpose in all of this.
On another note....as to my last blog. I have recieved many messages and have read the comments about it. Like I said it is my opinion and if peoples feathers got ruffled over it (which apparently they did based off of the messages and comments that I have received), it is nothing personal--I wasn't attacking any one person. I know that insurance is expensive and hard to get a good insurance and all of the difficulties. TRUST ME. I know about insurance, way more than I want. Anyways, that is all I am commenting about that.
Well, that is all for now. Maybe one of these days I will be able to post a happier more upbeat post, but today just isn't that day. If anyone would like to come and visit us while we are here you are more than welcome to. It gets old sitting up here day after day after day and a lot of people that I have talked to have said that they were afraid that she couldn't have visitors. As long as you are or have not been sick recently and you don't have children that are or have been sick recently, it is perfectly ok.
Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for the prayers!!! Oh yeah! I almost forgot.....the Lord did give us a blessing today. Out of the FIVE residents that came in the room during the whole fiasco earlier, one particular one named Dr. Blake stuck out to my and mom. He was very upfront with us and took the time to make sure I was okay and MJ was ok. To the point that he almost hugged me, but instead just touched my shoulder. I guess I had tears in my eyes because I couldn't get MJ to calm down etc etc. When he left the room my mom said I really like him, there is something different about him, he is going to be a great doctor. Well, a little while later he came in to tell us that so far all of the tests looked normal and he starting chatting with me and mom. Mom made the comment that God is in control and Dr. Blake picked up on it and told us that he firmly believes that God called him in to medicine and that he prays for each of his patients and he believes in miracles. What a blessing! That is the first time that a doctor (besides Dr. Schneider--the guy who saw us when pregnant) has mentioned God, miracles, etc. We really needed that. Anyways, just thought that I would share that little ray of sunshine!
Sunday Current mood: annoyed
All I ask is that people keep praying. Each day we are here things seems to be getting a little bit worse. Today is a whole new day with new issues.
She is continuing to throw up more frequently. Thank the Lord it isn't every feeding, but still......it's too often for comfort. Last night she threw up 40cc of nothing but straight milk. It looked like I had poured the milk from a jug when it came out. Thankfully she didn't throw up the full 80cc. I am starting to put a cup beside me at all times so that I can catch what she throws up so I can count how much it is. Sounds crazy I know, but when you have 5 different residents and 2 doctors asking you "how much" all of the time and you say Oh i don't know....probably 15cc or 20cc, it gets old. Now, I will give them exact answers.
The other issue is that MJ is now on oxygen. This morning since about 6am she has been extremely fussy, clammy, sweaty, coughing and her oxygen sats have been dipping down in to the 50-60s. I finally had my feel and called the nurse and asked her to please get in touch with someone (eventhough she had already called them and gotten the runaround) and that I wanted to see a doctor. They did blood cultures, lab work, a chest x-ray, & urine culture to see if maybe she is getting an infection somewhere or in congestive heart failure. So far, everything is negative--but we still have a baby that isn't resting good and she just isn't herself. SOMETHING is wrong. Maybe this is maternal instincts kicking in, but she does not look right to me. She is doing better on the oxygen and we are going to try to feed her in a little bit. I am a little worried that it is related to her heart defect and those tiny arteries and that they would want to do a heart cath. We'll see.
I have come so close to going off on a certain doctor that is just an absolute idiot. I know it isn't nice to talk about people, but he is a complete waste of time and should be working with rats and mice, not humans. Keep in mind that this is the doctor that is on call for our cardiologist and the one that wanted to send us home last admission with her losing weight and throwing up EVERYTHING. Well, yesterday he came in and said everything looks good and that he thought she could go home and asked me how I felt about that. Sorry he asked because I told him exactly how I felt about that. Needless to say, we are still at LeBoneheur and not home. Anyways, he started asking me questions like what the plan is for Macy and what has Dr. Joshi been telling us etc. Well, I mentioned that we are trying to get her to gain weight for her heart surgery and we need her collateral arteries to grow. He proceded to tell me that WE ( Steve and I) DID NOT WANT TO PROCEED WITH SURGERY and that was what the people in his group thought because they have a meeting once a week to discuss each patient. I was speechless. From February 3rd, 2007 to now we have always said do whatever you can do regardless of money or long distance travel. We trust Dr. Joshi and what he thinks. If we didn't want surgery why would they be sending her info to Dr. Hanley---the SURGEON---TOMORROW?????? Then he proceeded to tell me about how that her surgery might not benefit her and that she could go for years and years without having the surgery. Basically, he made me and my mom feel like the doctors had not been up front with us and that we were being led on and that there was nothing we could do. He continued to insult my thinking by saying that us sending her to California isn't necessarily going to fix her and that it isn't just a one time surgery and she's perfect. DUH. Don't you think I know that? I know that she is facing multiple open heart surgeries and heart caths all of her life. He also brought up her having DiGeorge Syndrome and all of the life-long complications from that. It was almost like he was saying inadvertently (I am sure I spelled that wrong) your baby is going to be sick her whole life, why are you even proceeding. Both me and my mom got that impression so it isn't just me misinterpreting things. One thing he doesn't know or may not understand is that I serve a powerful God that knows exactly what He is doing and He can perform miracles. God gave me and my family Macy Jane for a reason. I do not know how long she will be on this earth, but each day is a gift from God and I have faith that His will is going to be done. I am not a stupid and naive person. I know that the outlook for MJ is a slippery slope and it is a very real possibility that she will not make it through all of this. Am I heartbroken, yes. Is it easy to sit here and say this stuff no. I am a mom with a heart and emotions but I am a reality person and I have to face the facts.
I don't know how many days MJ has on this earth, but the Lord does. He will get me and my family through each day that passes, even when I think that the light at the end of the tunnel must be broken and I cannot take anymore. I have to keep believing that there is a greater purpose in all of this.
On another note....as to my last blog. I have recieved many messages and have read the comments about it. Like I said it is my opinion and if peoples feathers got ruffled over it (which apparently they did based off of the messages and comments that I have received), it is nothing personal--I wasn't attacking any one person. I know that insurance is expensive and hard to get a good insurance and all of the difficulties. TRUST ME. I know about insurance, way more than I want. Anyways, that is all I am commenting about that.
Well, that is all for now. Maybe one of these days I will be able to post a happier more upbeat post, but today just isn't that day. If anyone would like to come and visit us while we are here you are more than welcome to. It gets old sitting up here day after day after day and a lot of people that I have talked to have said that they were afraid that she couldn't have visitors. As long as you are or have not been sick recently and you don't have children that are or have been sick recently, it is perfectly ok.
Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for the prayers!!! Oh yeah! I almost forgot.....the Lord did give us a blessing today. Out of the FIVE residents that came in the room during the whole fiasco earlier, one particular one named Dr. Blake stuck out to my and mom. He was very upfront with us and took the time to make sure I was okay and MJ was ok. To the point that he almost hugged me, but instead just touched my shoulder. I guess I had tears in my eyes because I couldn't get MJ to calm down etc etc. When he left the room my mom said I really like him, there is something different about him, he is going to be a great doctor. Well, a little while later he came in to tell us that so far all of the tests looked normal and he starting chatting with me and mom. Mom made the comment that God is in control and Dr. Blake picked up on it and told us that he firmly believes that God called him in to medicine and that he prays for each of his patients and he believes in miracles. What a blessing! That is the first time that a doctor (besides Dr. Schneider--the guy who saw us when pregnant) has mentioned God, miracles, etc. We really needed that. Anyways, just thought that I would share that little ray of sunshine!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Insurance Current mood: aggravated
Just killing time while we are here. MJ's test was cancelled this morning because they saw why she was throwing up on the swallow test.....reflux. She did great all night eating and keeping it down, but she threw up at 6 and 9 this am, during her feeding--which is a new thing but still related to the reflux. I fed her at 12 and 3 and she did great and my mom is upstairs feeding her now. I had to get out of the room for a bit. Steve went home this afternoon as he has to work saturday and sunday and I just needed a small break.
I have something that I am going to vent about that is strictly my personal opinion. I know that some people will see differently than I do and this may even offend people, but that is why we live in America and have the freedom to say what we want.
The issue is people that have the ability to work and choose not to and instead of getting a job with insurance they rely on the good ole government to take care of themselves & their kids. This ticks me off royally these days. I have had family and friends that do/did this. People say that they can have a house full of kids not work and not have any insurance because "God will provide our needs" and they know they can get medicaid/medicare/tenncare. I agree that God can meet needs, but part of that is you getting a job and supporting your family so that you don't have to rely on handouts from people all of the time. God wants us to have children etc, but I firmly believe that he expects you to be able to support them. If you want to be a stay at home mom or dad that is fine--but you need to be able to afford it. Perfectly healthy people are sitting at home and relying way too much on the government for help. I am sick and tired of money from my paycheck going to support some person that has the ability to work and support a family but does not.
All of this is bugging me more and more because of Macy Jane. Right now she is covered under private insurance through our jobs at Baptist, but when that insurance policy reaches its maximum lifetime amount, what are we going to do? We have people checking in to things and advising us on the steps to take, but one of the options is Tenncare. However, it will probably not be an easy thing to get her on it because Steve and I have good paying jobs and there are too many free loaders out there taking up the benefits. Honestly, we are considering one of us working for Methodist so that we can get insurance through them once the Baptist policy runs out. I do not want to rely on the government, but sometimes there are no other options when you have a sick child. To me government programs should be for children that are sick that do not qualify for private insurance and for people that are trully disabled and cannot work, and also children born to parents that have the mentality that they don't have to work because it is God's will that they stay at home. Once they are able to get a job with insurance then they need to be released from government aid.
I just do not get where people think that it is okay to not work but yet they cannot pay their bills on time or at all and end up filing bankruptcy and living off of Uncle Sam. Yet, it is God's will for them and God will provide. I am sorry but as Christians we are supposed to be good stewards of our money, according to the Bible. You tell me how you sitting on your butt at home with a mountain of debt accumulating, filing for bankruptcy, and relying on the goverment is God's will and being good stewards of your money??? It isn't. Get a freaking job and take care of your needs without relying on every person to help you, like we owe it to you.
Sorry, that has just been eating away at me for some time and driving me nuts how people justify things. Don't get me wrong, I would love to stay at home with Macy Jane every day and work maybe one day a week, but that simply isn't possible. If my husband were rich and could support us that would be great, but that isn't the case.
Well, that's enough. Please pray that we will make the right decisions concerning MJ and her insurance. You may be thinking that it is too early to worry about that, but it isn't. Insurance money runs out quickly when you have a sick little one. It would be nice to be able to go and get her on Tenncare by walking in to an office and proving why she needs it, but that isn't how it works thanks to freeloaders. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Insurance Current mood: aggravated
Just killing time while we are here. MJ's test was cancelled this morning because they saw why she was throwing up on the swallow test.....reflux. She did great all night eating and keeping it down, but she threw up at 6 and 9 this am, during her feeding--which is a new thing but still related to the reflux. I fed her at 12 and 3 and she did great and my mom is upstairs feeding her now. I had to get out of the room for a bit. Steve went home this afternoon as he has to work saturday and sunday and I just needed a small break.
I have something that I am going to vent about that is strictly my personal opinion. I know that some people will see differently than I do and this may even offend people, but that is why we live in America and have the freedom to say what we want.
The issue is people that have the ability to work and choose not to and instead of getting a job with insurance they rely on the good ole government to take care of themselves & their kids. This ticks me off royally these days. I have had family and friends that do/did this. People say that they can have a house full of kids not work and not have any insurance because "God will provide our needs" and they know they can get medicaid/medicare/tenncare. I agree that God can meet needs, but part of that is you getting a job and supporting your family so that you don't have to rely on handouts from people all of the time. God wants us to have children etc, but I firmly believe that he expects you to be able to support them. If you want to be a stay at home mom or dad that is fine--but you need to be able to afford it. Perfectly healthy people are sitting at home and relying way too much on the government for help. I am sick and tired of money from my paycheck going to support some person that has the ability to work and support a family but does not.
All of this is bugging me more and more because of Macy Jane. Right now she is covered under private insurance through our jobs at Baptist, but when that insurance policy reaches its maximum lifetime amount, what are we going to do? We have people checking in to things and advising us on the steps to take, but one of the options is Tenncare. However, it will probably not be an easy thing to get her on it because Steve and I have good paying jobs and there are too many free loaders out there taking up the benefits. Honestly, we are considering one of us working for Methodist so that we can get insurance through them once the Baptist policy runs out. I do not want to rely on the government, but sometimes there are no other options when you have a sick child. To me government programs should be for children that are sick that do not qualify for private insurance and for people that are trully disabled and cannot work, and also children born to parents that have the mentality that they don't have to work because it is God's will that they stay at home. Once they are able to get a job with insurance then they need to be released from government aid.
I just do not get where people think that it is okay to not work but yet they cannot pay their bills on time or at all and end up filing bankruptcy and living off of Uncle Sam. Yet, it is God's will for them and God will provide. I am sorry but as Christians we are supposed to be good stewards of our money, according to the Bible. You tell me how you sitting on your butt at home with a mountain of debt accumulating, filing for bankruptcy, and relying on the goverment is God's will and being good stewards of your money??? It isn't. Get a freaking job and take care of your needs without relying on every person to help you, like we owe it to you.
Sorry, that has just been eating away at me for some time and driving me nuts how people justify things. Don't get me wrong, I would love to stay at home with Macy Jane every day and work maybe one day a week, but that simply isn't possible. If my husband were rich and could support us that would be great, but that isn't the case.
Well, that's enough. Please pray that we will make the right decisions concerning MJ and her insurance. You may be thinking that it is too early to worry about that, but it isn't. Insurance money runs out quickly when you have a sick little one. It would be nice to be able to go and get her on Tenncare by walking in to an office and proving why she needs it, but that isn't how it works thanks to freeloaders. Grrrrrrrrrrr.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tired Current mood: exhausted
This morning has been rough! I was up with Macy Jane feeding her and "watching" her until 4:30 this morning and then Steve was going to feed her at 6am for me so I could get 3 hours of solid sleep (trust me.....that is like sleeping all night!).....well at 5 something I hear Steve getting her bottle ready and MJ crying. She somehome pulled out or coughed up her feeding tube in her sleep. All I know is that it was in there at 4:30 when I layed her in the bed.
Steve tried to put the tube back in but she was screaming so much it was difficult for him--plus we had Nancy Nurse in the room (she is the nurse that Steve politely got "fired" from taking care of MJ one shift last admission) and I think she was making him a bit frazzled. I couldn't take listening to her scream anymore so I put the tube back in. I feel so sorry for her and I hate having to put her through all of this.
I am not in a good mood today. It could just be a lack of sleep but things are getting to me. Her right eye is matted shut with yellow drainage and I have been trying since we got in here to get SOMEONE to reorder her eye ointment that she was on at home and we have yet to get it. Thankfully my mom is at my house right now getting our own supply. I will be damned if I am going to sit here and just let things go by this time without demanding some action to be taken. It is starting to piss me off royally that everything is such a hassle. I am not being the mom that is a nurse that thinks she knows everything either. I will be the first to admit that i know very little about babies and children, but I have God given common sense and her eye being matted shut IS NOT NORMAL. Everyone keeps telling me that we need to worry about her nutrition first and then the other stuff can be dealt with later. Um.......no. I am very concerned about her nutrition BUT infection hinders that as well and something needs to be done.
Having to go through all of this sort of changes the way that I view my patient's and their family members. It is hard being in the hospital day after day and not getting any answers and having nurses not answer questions and make empty promises or tell you something to just get you to shut up. You do start to feel like just another room number.
One other thing that I need ya'll to specifically pray for (besides her to start gaining more weight) is related to her heart/lungs. Yesterday I talked with MJ's cardiologist about her surgery and our options etc. We discussed the possibility of her needing a lung transplant if they were unable to use her collateral arteries since they were so small. He gave some not so promising statistics about the success/survival rate in children who have lung transplants and does NOT recommend that we go that route (although he said if he ended up doing that he would still support our decision). So. We are earnestly praying that her arteries grow much much bigger. They are at least half the size that they should be even now. If she isn't gaining weight and getting bigger, odds are they aren't either. Also, even if she does gain weight, there is no guarantee that the arteries will grow.
If they do not grow, it does not sound like there are any options other than the lung transplant. Now, this is coming from a doctor that isn't a cardiac surgeon. Dr. Hanley (surgeon in cali) may be able to do things that Dr. Joshi isn't aware of etc. etc. So please please please pray that her arteries grow. We won't know if they have until closer to when they want to do the surgery---if they CAN do it.
I know that God still answers prayers and He is with us through this all and has a plan, but it is so hard. I just want some good news for a change. I know that I have to suck it up and keep going because MJ needs a strong mommy to help her but sometimes it just gets the better of me. I feel like a two year old because there are times that I just want to sit on the floor and beat the heck out of a wall with my head, fist, feet....whatever I can. I try not to question "why us Lord" but that too is hard. I am trying to see the purpose in all of this but so far I am not having any success.
Well, I have vented enough. Don't worry, I am not depressed. I am just a tired, stressed, hungry, pissed off mom We are going with MJ at 10am for her swallow test so I need to run back to the room so Steve can take a shower. Thankfully this test shouldn't hurt at all.......she just needs to take some of her bottle.
Thanks in advance for the comments and prayers from everyone. I do not have time at the hospital to sit down and write everyone individually, but everything is appreciated.
Tired Current mood: exhausted
This morning has been rough! I was up with Macy Jane feeding her and "watching" her until 4:30 this morning and then Steve was going to feed her at 6am for me so I could get 3 hours of solid sleep (trust me.....that is like sleeping all night!).....well at 5 something I hear Steve getting her bottle ready and MJ crying. She somehome pulled out or coughed up her feeding tube in her sleep. All I know is that it was in there at 4:30 when I layed her in the bed.
Steve tried to put the tube back in but she was screaming so much it was difficult for him--plus we had Nancy Nurse in the room (she is the nurse that Steve politely got "fired" from taking care of MJ one shift last admission) and I think she was making him a bit frazzled. I couldn't take listening to her scream anymore so I put the tube back in. I feel so sorry for her and I hate having to put her through all of this.
I am not in a good mood today. It could just be a lack of sleep but things are getting to me. Her right eye is matted shut with yellow drainage and I have been trying since we got in here to get SOMEONE to reorder her eye ointment that she was on at home and we have yet to get it. Thankfully my mom is at my house right now getting our own supply. I will be damned if I am going to sit here and just let things go by this time without demanding some action to be taken. It is starting to piss me off royally that everything is such a hassle. I am not being the mom that is a nurse that thinks she knows everything either. I will be the first to admit that i know very little about babies and children, but I have God given common sense and her eye being matted shut IS NOT NORMAL. Everyone keeps telling me that we need to worry about her nutrition first and then the other stuff can be dealt with later. Um.......no. I am very concerned about her nutrition BUT infection hinders that as well and something needs to be done.
Having to go through all of this sort of changes the way that I view my patient's and their family members. It is hard being in the hospital day after day and not getting any answers and having nurses not answer questions and make empty promises or tell you something to just get you to shut up. You do start to feel like just another room number.
One other thing that I need ya'll to specifically pray for (besides her to start gaining more weight) is related to her heart/lungs. Yesterday I talked with MJ's cardiologist about her surgery and our options etc. We discussed the possibility of her needing a lung transplant if they were unable to use her collateral arteries since they were so small. He gave some not so promising statistics about the success/survival rate in children who have lung transplants and does NOT recommend that we go that route (although he said if he ended up doing that he would still support our decision). So. We are earnestly praying that her arteries grow much much bigger. They are at least half the size that they should be even now. If she isn't gaining weight and getting bigger, odds are they aren't either. Also, even if she does gain weight, there is no guarantee that the arteries will grow.
If they do not grow, it does not sound like there are any options other than the lung transplant. Now, this is coming from a doctor that isn't a cardiac surgeon. Dr. Hanley (surgeon in cali) may be able to do things that Dr. Joshi isn't aware of etc. etc. So please please please pray that her arteries grow. We won't know if they have until closer to when they want to do the surgery---if they CAN do it.
I know that God still answers prayers and He is with us through this all and has a plan, but it is so hard. I just want some good news for a change. I know that I have to suck it up and keep going because MJ needs a strong mommy to help her but sometimes it just gets the better of me. I feel like a two year old because there are times that I just want to sit on the floor and beat the heck out of a wall with my head, fist, feet....whatever I can. I try not to question "why us Lord" but that too is hard. I am trying to see the purpose in all of this but so far I am not having any success.
Well, I have vented enough. Don't worry, I am not depressed. I am just a tired, stressed, hungry, pissed off mom We are going with MJ at 10am for her swallow test so I need to run back to the room so Steve can take a shower. Thankfully this test shouldn't hurt at all.......she just needs to take some of her bottle.
Thanks in advance for the comments and prayers from everyone. I do not have time at the hospital to sit down and write everyone individually, but everything is appreciated.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Curious Current mood: ecstatic
Last night at 2am I decided I would step on the awful scales and see what I had lost since the baby was born. According to the scales, I have lost 30 pounds since she was born!!!!!!! I only gained 25 with her :) Now, the true test will be when I go to the doctor because I don't know how off my scales are compared to theirs, but I was pretty excited.
I have been wearing pajama like clothes since she was born and can't wait to see if I can wear my pre-preggo jeans again. Today I am going to the grocery so we'll see what fits. Ahh.....normal clothes again I am so excited. Of course, my body looks different since it was extremely stretched out, but with some hard work and determination, I'll become "normal" hopefully......if not, there is always plastic surgery after baby #2 gets here (in a few years, I pray-haha).
Well, that's it for now. Just thought I would share that info since it made me happy. I've had about 2 hours sleep in the past 24 so I am about to turn things over to my mom and sister and crawl in the bed with Steve for a couple of hours in MY OWN BED! Yipee.
By the way, MJ has only spit-up once overnight, no throwing up though--thank God! She still doesn't take a whole lot by mouth, but we give it to her in her tube so she is getting the nutrition she needs.
Curious Current mood: ecstatic
Last night at 2am I decided I would step on the awful scales and see what I had lost since the baby was born. According to the scales, I have lost 30 pounds since she was born!!!!!!! I only gained 25 with her :) Now, the true test will be when I go to the doctor because I don't know how off my scales are compared to theirs, but I was pretty excited.
I have been wearing pajama like clothes since she was born and can't wait to see if I can wear my pre-preggo jeans again. Today I am going to the grocery so we'll see what fits. Ahh.....normal clothes again I am so excited. Of course, my body looks different since it was extremely stretched out, but with some hard work and determination, I'll become "normal" hopefully......if not, there is always plastic surgery after baby #2 gets here (in a few years, I pray-haha).
Well, that's it for now. Just thought I would share that info since it made me happy. I've had about 2 hours sleep in the past 24 so I am about to turn things over to my mom and sister and crawl in the bed with Steve for a couple of hours in MY OWN BED! Yipee.
By the way, MJ has only spit-up once overnight, no throwing up though--thank God! She still doesn't take a whole lot by mouth, but we give it to her in her tube so she is getting the nutrition she needs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
