Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Just Think Current mood: accomplished
That was the title of a card that me and Steve received once MJ was born. I was cleaning tonight and found this card and another story in an odd place, and it was just meant for me to find it, tonight. The rest of the card reads:

Just Think
Your DAUGHTER is here not by chance,
but by God’s choosing.
His hand formed her
and made her the person she is.
He compares her to no one else---
she is one of a kind.
She will lack nothing
that His grace can’t give her.
He has allowed her to be here
at this time in history
to fulfill His special purpose
for this generation.
--Roy Lessin--
I have believed from day one that Macy Jane was put here on this earth for a specific purpose, and that God chose me and Steve to be her parents. Would I trade her for a "normal" baby? Absolutely not. Do not get me wrong, there are days that I wish for a "normal" life, but never in a million years would I trade my daughter for that. She is who she is and I can only hope that we, as her parents, will teach her to live for the Lord and to thank Him for His protection on her life and to help others as she gets older.
Another piece of paper that I found is a short story that I received from my sister shortly after we found out that MJ had a heart defect and DiGeorge Syndrome. My entire family went through a very hard time adjusting to the news, and my sister lifted me up daily with emails and inspirational stories. I am forever grateful to her for that, she will never know how much she helped me during those dark days. This is the story:
Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.
One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all of the impurities.
The woman though about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?"
He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that’s easy--when I see my image in it."
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.
I will be honest and admit that the past few days I have been struggling with thoughts about "what if" and "I wonder" etc. I always get like this before MJ has a procedure and somehow the devil ALWAYS tries to find ways to discourage me or make me fearful. I.E. tonight I was looking up some info on MAPCA’s and I came across 3 websites of adorable children that were ages 2-3. I read their stories, which were exactly like MJs and then at the end, I learned that the children had become angels. I read those stories and immediately had a panic feeling in my stomach, but then I thought of the Bible verse that talks about God not giving us the spirit of fear. I know that the Lord is with me and my family each and every day. I just need to focus on His will and He will give me the strength to face each day and the challenges it may bring.
Well, it is after 2am and I finally have the house clean and ready for company. I am just waiting on a load of clothes to finish drying and then I am off to sleep for a few hours. I will be spending the night at my parents house the next 2 nights and then Thursday night I will either be back home or at LeBonheur overnight. Everyone is praying that she will get to go home Thursday afternoon, right?! Remember....hospitals BAD.....no stay over night. I will try to update everyone as soon as I am able to with the results of her heart cath.
Thanks for reading, one day I will learn to make these dang things shorter.
Much Love,
Bethany